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 my knees hurt, my butt hurts and my eyes too because i spend so much time sitting in this chair, in front of the pc, even so, i don't do anything about it so today i just sat around doing nothing. i enjoy being active usually but there are times when this happens and i really am more like a ghost than a person, or should i say like an inanimate object, because i guess ghosts get around and spook people and have fun, i mean i would if i were a ghost. or would i really? i wouldn't be able to sit on a chair or surf the net so i guess my ghost ass would just chose to float above the ground in a corner. i lack the motivation to do major things. i can't bring myself to read anything else that isn't a short story, i feel like this made me so dumb and i lost a lot in these past few years, this time in which i could have read, studied and improved myself all in all, has gone to waste and realising now---it's not late but i don't feel like reading something that goes over 50 pages in just one reading session.

 i'm hungry i'm always hungry and i've tried smoking instead of snacking but that just made me sick, so i wonder what the balance is, i'm always worried about balance and i aspire to be balanced, gray, safe, mediocre etc see how balance can lead to being 'just there'? yea me too